Family Healing

Many years ago - my aunt married a man who had two children, girls, that were 2 and 6 years old.  Their marriage was a very unhappy one - the man was, well, not what he had seemed at first. 

The home was filled with sadness, isolation and abuse - mostly deeply inflicted mental abuse and neglect.  After many, many years of this my aunt was basically forced by family to end the marriage.  

Sadly, ending the marriage with her husband meant losing contact with the children (who were now teenagers) as well.  One can not expect that the girls would have been able to understand at that time all that was going on in the home during those years...nor could one expect that they would side with anyone other than their blood relation.  

Fast forward 17 years - and the wonderful invention of Facebook.  My sister found the oldest of the two girls on Facebook around Christmas this year.  I then found her when I saw her added as Debi's friend.  We started emailing, and I began to ask questions, and she did the same.  I still feel very much like she is my cousin!  She, as far as I am concerned, is one of the two young ladies that even though they have a mother of their own - are also my Aunts daughters, the only daughters she was ever able to have.  

On Wednesday, Debi and I went to dinner with her and had a wonderful time of catching up and getting to know the lady that our cousin has become.  It was so nice to see her again and be face to face with her and to hear about her beautiful daughter that is only two years younger than our oldest girls.  We have even learned what a great life she has made/is making for herself.  She is only 3 years away from her doctorate in Psychology!  

We were also fortunate that the timing was such that my mom (my aunt's sister) and dad were coming into town for one day on their way south for the month.  Also that the timing of all of this has allowed for enough healing that my cousin has allowed us to all meet with her again including my mom and dad this time.  We were able to all spend the afternoon together and even meet her 12 year old daughter! We talked about past and present and got to just hang out.  She even had her real mother over to my parents fifth wheel tonight after I was gone - so mom and dad were able to meet her and my cousin's husband and get to know them a little as well.  

What has happened in the last few days is, I believe, a picture of God at work in his wonderous ways.  It is a picture of forgiveness, mercy, and love.   God has had a heavy hand in the timing of all of this and the softening of hearts and minds to hear truths that had not been spoken before - on both sides.  He has given us the gift of discernment - the ability to know what information is better left unsaid and what things needed to be said.

Today was a great day and I am so encouraged to think that it is possible that my cousin might, in the near future, find it the right timing to contact my Aunt and allow some mending of hearts between the two of them. 

All in good time...All in God's time.